To start off this blog, I’ll begin with an amusing story from my past winter of substitute teaching around central Maine.

5-year-old “Bob”, a quiet, rather slow kid who didn’t know his letters or numbers (except for the number 58 for some reason…) sat silently at his classroom table at snack time. When he stayed sitting there after his table was dismissed to go to their cubbies to get their snacks from home, I asked, “Bob, don’t you need to go to your cubby to get your snack?” To which, he responded, “No, my parents didn’t pack me a snack. They only packed me two beers.”

The other substitute teacher and I quickly exchanged concerned, albeit amused, glances, and I asked, “What did they pack you, Bob?” “Two beers,” he responded. Meanwhile one other kindergartener in the class yells “He brought beer!” Oh, Maine…

So I suggested that Bob and I go check his bag to see if maybe his parents also packed him a snack. We arrive at his cubby, he unzips his bag, and out falls…two teddy bears! Well, one technically was a leopard, but I let it slide upon realizing that he did not, in fact, have beer and that he adorably pronounced the word bear as “beer.”

The hopeful conclusion is that his parents did pack him a snack: a small package of brightly colored gummy candies and a Sponge Bob fruit roll-up—the kind that is so brightly colored, you can lick it and stick it on your skin for a temp-tattoo effect… I think I’d preferred it if he’d had beer.

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